SNOW WHITE AND THE HUNTSMAN both needed to take the poison apple
The day someone believes Kristen Stewart is hotter than Charlize Theron is the day Walt Disney opens a snow-shoveling business in hell.
Sink this BATTLESHIP Movie
You knew this was going to be bad, I knew this was going to bad. But, there’s a surprise! It’s NOT bad! It’s REALLY bad!
You’ll be THE LUCKY ONE if you avoid this movie
Who knew that you could make millions of dollars by playing Mad Libs with romantic melodramas? Besides Stephanie Meyer, Nicholas Sparks, and Tom Clancy…
THE CABIN IN THE WOODS is funny, gory, and brilliant all at once
Oh Joss Whedon, I now see why people worship you and suck from your luscious teat. You give the minds of film-lovers the greatest blow job in history.
Wrath of the Titans sounds so EPIC, when it’s really so MEH
Gaze upon the poster ladies and gentleman, for it’s the most exciting part of this “epic” movie.
American Reunion was like watching your dad imitate scenes from a 90’s sex comedy…only worse
The trailer said this is the reunion you’ve been waiting for, the people who made that trailer are going to a special place in Hell for lying.
Resurrecting the Dead (for Profit!)
Remakes, prequels, sequels, reboots, adaptations, and now 3D re-releases. Starting next week, Hollywood will dig up the desecrated body of your first pet and dress it up in shiny lights to sell for profit. Impossible? Not for Hollywood!
Mirror, Mirror shatters into a thousand pieces
It’s truly amazing that the mirrors in this film didn’t crack a smirk with Julia Roberts’ so-called “acting.”
Breaking Hollywood’s Schedule!
So, I’m planning on giving myself a regular schedule of updates to the blog so as I don’t get rusty or skimp on content for a while. I’m planning on releasing a new post every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Thanks again for choosing to keep up with the blog!
